November 07, 2012

:: I MISS YOU ::

As - Salam Peeps..  =(

Have you heard the phrase 'tidur tak lena mandi tak basah makan tak kenyang'? well..eventually i experienced this for this past week..not the part about the bath though..

Have you ever wondered why sometimes your relationships sucks? no matter how hard you try..its just seem like somethings wrong..am i trying too hard? or i'm just damn stupid for not realizing anything?
This past week has been a disaster week for me..my concentration are divert away..i cant seem to get a proper sleep..didn't feel like eating..didn't feel like to enjoy much..all i do was thinking of him..i miss him damn so much..even my friends says that 'whats wrong with you?' and says that it was shown all over your face gurl..how can i hide my emotion? even i put a fake smile, pretend that i'm happy..its still damn hurt inside..

Every night, every time i think of him..my heart ache..its crying inside and eventually i cried too..i cried like EVERY SINGLE DAY.. i know i shouldn't be this way..i know..its pathetic..but i dont know what else to do..are we still together? have i done something so bad? if i do i think i've already apologizing..but why you still doing this to me? why did u torture me so much..do you even care? do u even miss me?

somehow..i got the feelings of why some people do suicide because of love..i said this because i felt it now..yup..no kidding..all the pills, all the sharp things you can imagine seems sooooo tempting for you to use..you even feel like drive your car 200km/h and then crash yourself hoping that you will get into an accident and see if he care..or maybe lost memory..pfft..i know..how stupid is that? but yet that's what i feel now..and what make it worse..no explaination..i know im not in the place to complain but..its hurt deep inside when you dont have any explaination..people who isn't in your shoes will never know how you feel..

why do u need to be selfish and only think about your feeling without taking into consideration about mine? am i not important to u? why u need to take such drastic way..don't u even remember how i accompany u, patiently putting up with your attitudes when u feel exactly like i did now because of your past? why your ego is soo high? i wondered do u really love me? or u just playing with me? if u dont tell me the truth how am i suppose to know?? if you have something to tell me..pleasee..i'm begging you..tell me..how am i suppose to know if u don't tell me anything? do you think i'm a psychic who can read minds? that's bullshit! but thinking back i do seem overly - attached to him..so it was eventually my fault that he make me like this..

well dear YOU..if u are reading this..my feeling not yet change..its still the same..don't ask me why i also dont know..maybe i forced u to much..i'll step back for a while..giving u time and space wishing that u might change ur mind..i'll wait as long as this little heart can stand..i miss you..i really do.. :'(

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